Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
