Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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