I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
