do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
