I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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