Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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