Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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