SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
