Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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