i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
