I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think your dad took our porno
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
