There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
