Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
