im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize