Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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