he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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