Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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