remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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