i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
