so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
