I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I don't think brook has ever known best
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The uberlube is also flammable
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
