He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
