I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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