Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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