HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
