you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
