I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
