the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This is classic penis vs brain.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.