12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?