Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
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i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can