Whod you bang
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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