Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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