I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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