Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
