is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
