There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
