i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
