I'm jealous of your bromance
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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