She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
