i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize