Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize