but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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