he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
