it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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