did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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