Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dear god my vagina.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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