I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
