so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
