you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
