i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
