Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
