he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
