she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
