Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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