Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
