What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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