One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
not ubering you a puppy
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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