Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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