just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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