Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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