Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
