i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
